Little Things

Ever felt like you left a piece of your heart in someone that you once loved? Like a puzzle piece of you. Now that the person is never coming back,  It will remain a piece that you'll never retrieve it even when you tried your hardest. A void remained that seemed irreplacable. You felt heartbroken each time you recalled those memories. An important piece disappeared, made you feel sad and miserable more than ever. You start to lose hope in all things, refusing every help that you can get. You fell deeper in the hole of depression until you're and just tired of letting other things affecting you anymore ...

No expectations, no disappointments.  Feeling attached isn't an entirely a bad thing, it's just the feeling of getting comfortable with someone. Someone who enjoys those conversations that you've had despite talking about meaningless things. Someone you can trust with all the secrets and to do stupid things with. Someone whom you can go to when you needed someone to talk to. Someone whom you think treats you really special but in reality that person treats everyone the same way as he treated you. That's when you notice that you aren't that special anymore.  You don't feel as special as that person is, to you. The disappointment comes in and as it slowly engulfs you and destroys you from within.  Even then, you had to keep a smile on that face so that the other person doesn't notice about it. Little by little, you've adapted to that statement of you not being special, which made you restrict yourself to think of all the othe...

Back to home sweet home after so long (or was it?) It always feel great to come home, to a place you've always felt safe, comfortable and at home. Nothing changes, everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same.  Then you realize what's changed is you . I wonder what is up next.  Not really knowing what to expect. This book is getting really interesting ;)

#biochemistryfamilydinner slash appreciation night We are reaching the end of one lively yet adventurous chapter of my life book. It wasn't an easy chapter and it's hard to believe that now we have reached the end. It's so hard to satisfy us human beings, don't you think? In the beginning , we dreaded each day hoping that the semester would end faster because we just couldn't wait to head home to our loved ones. Our family and friends. Towards the second year , we started getting along with each other.  Slowly getting to know each other. Starting to notice things like what they like to eat.  What they don't like to eat.  What colours do they like?  What kind of person would be their cup of tea?  Some would prefer teh tarik instead being typical Malaysians. One thing is for sure, there will always be second round after dinner and it's usually ice cream at McD. Moving on to third year , we were b...

Sorry for the lack of updates guys :(  I just realized it's been over a month since I last wrote something and can't believe its almost halfway towards the end of 2016.  The beginning of adulthood. For real. My coursemates are probably amazed by how relax I can be right now because of the fact that we just finished one paper like an hour ago (Malaysian time) and we have another one tomorrow.  It's the first paper that we finished, marking almost to an end of our studies here as an undergraduate. Finals are like the season where you hear people losing sleep over studying  and here I am typing in this quiet place called library. Don't rush me okay, I just need to let it out in a way since I can't sleep right now. Funny, I can't even afford to be sad right now. When will it be that I'm finally good enough? Now, I can only hope for the best. Regardless, I will drag myself to the end of finish line.  No ma...

Hey you, I know it's been a long battle between you and yourself and you're getting tired. Listen to me, okay? Sometimes, To get the best out of your life, you go through some of the worst. No one said it was going to be easy. Believe me, it will be worth it in the end.  I know you think that nobody understands what you're going through then again, everyone else is fighting their own battle that we ourselves are not aware of.  Don't judge people based on their outlook appearances.  It is all a disguise, hiding everything behind their crooked smiles. Same goes to you. You're bottling everything up, thinking that it's better that you are enduring the pain all alone Rather than to burden those who cared about you. Without you realizing, the bottle reaching its limit and you feel suffocated with all of its content You couldn't let it out. You couldn't tell anybody. You chose to cry for e...

*** Have you come across a sad story and you start crying all of a sudden? You're crying not because of the story but because of how much that story reminds you of YOU. Reminds you of what you are or what you were. It's as though it's talking about you. Triggering those feelings and it's coming to you once again. You just felt the need to shut yourself out from the world and you did. You always tell yourself that things will get better but it still isn't. Nothing's changed in you  but everything and everyone else around you did. You'd rather be all alone, facing the walls cos you feel comfortable that way. *** So much contradictory compared to my previous post huh? FYI I didn't plan to sound desperate in my previous post. I wrote it from my perspective on the importance of promises. Forget Nemo. tata *swims back to anemone*