falling leaves
summer ends, and autumn comes
with a breeze so light and warm
with sights of sunset and golden
then you said
“if you catch a falling leaf and make a wish, it will come true”
that memory of us
is ever so vivid
as if you were gone
just yesterday
“how silly” was all i said
(of me, to dismiss you like that)
but i couldn’t forget your gaze that day
(i still remember, with each visit made)
one that spoke a million words
(but words i couldn’t understand)
that i’m left with regrets
(for not realising what you were trying to tell me)
the guilt and blame i place upon myself
(because i still wonder why i lived and you didn’t)
one i’ll do for the rest of my life
(because i don’t deserve happiness, this life, and the living)
to make up for all that i’ve done, for i’m the one to blame
years went by
but the whirlpool of emotions held my walls up high
for the fear of what could happen
and i knew my heart couldn’t take the pain twice
but that one day in autumn
the sight of falling leaves and gentle breeze
the accumulation of all the little things
they came back but this time, hopeful
when i heard that familiar phrase again
for once, i felt genuinely happy
as if liberated, to have freed myself
of the chains and weights
i tied to my own two feet
only to notice
it’s from a different you, yet the same
and that made all the difference
in taking a step forward
to heal and start again
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