falling leaves

written on October 15, 2021


summer ends, and autumn comes

with a breeze so light and warm 

with sights of sunset and golden


then you said 

“if you catch a falling leaf and make a wish, it will come true”


that memory of us

is ever so vivid 

as if you were gone 

just yesterday 


“how silly” was all i said

(of me, to dismiss you like that) 


but i couldn’t forget your gaze that day 

(i still remember, with each visit made) 


one that spoke a million words 

(but words i couldn’t understand) 


that i’m left with regrets 

(for not realising what you were trying to tell me) 


the guilt and blame i place upon myself 

(because i still wonder why i lived and you didn’t)


one i’ll do for the rest of my life 

(because i don’t deserve happiness, this life, and the living) 


to make up for all that i’ve done, for i’m the one to blame



years went by

but the whirlpool of emotions held my walls up high 

for the fear of what could happen 

and i knew my heart couldn’t take the pain twice


but that one day in autumn 

the sight of falling leaves and gentle breeze 

the accumulation of all the little things 

they came back but this time, hopeful 


when i heard that familiar phrase again

for once, i felt genuinely happy 

as if liberated, to have freed myself 

of the chains and weights 

i tied to my own two feet


only to notice 

it’s from a different you, yet the same

and that made all the difference 

in taking a step forward 

to heal and start again



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