a thousand year old

written on September 12, 2021

i’ve lived for all eternity and i’ve gone through everything 

a meaningless life i’ve grown accustomed to

as days turn to years

and they began to pass me by so slowly

soon, i grew tired of living 

for someone who’s immortal

who does not fear death 

my life turned around 

the day i met you

when we first met, 

i thought it was destiny 

a sign that my life was about to change 

it didn’t happen all at once

but with time, i saw change in me 

the walls i’ve built these time

the ice cold heart of mine

slowly melt away 

each time you smile 

the sound of your voice calling my name

for once, it felt alright 

even if i had to let these walls crumble

living in a monochrome world

i never knew what colours meant 

just like how you brought joy and meaning into my worthless life

you showed me colours i never knew existed 

actually, you were my joy 

the only reason i wake up 

braving to face each day 

before i met you 

life was dull that i couldn’t remember much 

it wasn’t until the 999th year

that i discovered the fear of death

because i couldn’t bear the thought of you 

leaving this world 

and leaving me behind 

it wasn’t until the 999th year 

that i started to believe in this thing called ‘wish’

what mortals do and rely on

in this life as they live

for the first time 

i wished and i prayed 

for a normal life with you 

to do things that people normally do 

to share meals and watch a movie

i know it’s a selfish act 

but i continue to plead

in exchange for my immortality 

for the first time

i wanted to be human 

just so i could experience how life is like 

to grow old with you

even if my days are numbered

even if i eventually fear and resent death 

i wouldn’t mind it 

as long as it’s with you

i begged and pleaded 

to the forces up there

to grant this sole wish of mine 

but on the year short of a thousand

i pleaded for something else

in exchange for your life 

i wished for you to live 

even if it means i would take your place 

next to the grim reaper

i wished we never met 

so that this wouldn’t happen to you

so that you wouldn’t end up crying alone

in that house i left you in 

i wished to erase the memories of us 

so that you wouldn’t be chained by it 

if it’s a burden to carry, let it be mine 

the one who caused this pain

you should be free

even if you don’t remember me anymore

i’ll pray for your happiness 

perhaps then, when we meet again 

i’ll know that it was destiny 

like how an invisible red string 

bound us together

this mysterious thing called fate 

that brought me to you

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