bump
of roads in life
some will get you straight to the point, a smooth sailing one
some with potholes, where you think twice before running through it
then there are a few with bumps, one or a row of it
forcing you to slow down and have your foot off the accelerator
because running through it any faster will not only feel uncomfortable
but it’ll damage your car
immediately or cumulatively, i do not know the extent of the damage
but the moment you hit the brakes
and as you watch the car move slowly
you look out and start to see how fast the cars around you go
cutting in lanes to speed ahead
going beyond the limits to get ahead in the game
on the roads they choose, with a destination in mind
not caring if there’s any traffic ahead
as if to say “just go”
until the red light tells you otherwise
in the world full of talented people
you stop to wonder what’s yours
it’s not that your car isn’t working
(though it terribly needed some fixing)
i think it’s the navigation system that broke down
this isn’t the first
but it has become more intense or paralysing rather
to the point of not wanting to do anything
sitting there and waiting to reach a place, somewhere (that i don’t even know exist)
and it feels like i’ve been going on for so long,
running and chasing after what i thought was what i wanted (only to realise that it wasn’t)
yet i can’t afford to stay stagnant
as we know life stops for no one
so the way i know how (to keep moving) was to distract myself
“to be busy being busy”
to push away this gloominess and neglect the weight i feel on my shoulders
the thought of judging eyes lurking to see what i’d do next
little do i know that it’s eating me up at night
(to the point i can’t stand it anymore)
since when did life start to feel like this?
p.s — finally putting down these thoughts in my head during the quiet drives to work, just before the sun rise. can’t promise i’m going to be here as often tho
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