Little Things

written on September 12, 2021 i’ve lived for all eternity and i’ve gone through everything  a meaningless life i’ve grown accustomed to as days turn to years and they began to pass me by so slowly soon, i grew tired of living  for someone who’s immortal who does not fear death  my life turned around  the day i met you when we first met,  i thought it was destiny  a sign that my life was about to change  it didn’t happen all at once but with time, i saw change in me  the walls i’ve built these time the ice cold heart of mine slowly melt away  each time you smile  the sound of your voice calling my name for once, it felt alright  even if i had to let these walls crumble living in a monochrome world i never knew what colours meant  just like how you brought joy and meaning into my worthless life you showed me colours i never knew existed  actually, you were my joy  the only reason i wake up  braving to face each ...

written on May 15, 2022 it’s been a while since i last sat down and wrote my thoughts. lately, i find myself in ‘consuming’ mode rather than ‘creating’. feeling uninspired for the longest time had me asking myself if this is still what i’m curious about and if this is still something i want to work on.  with the time given each day, i find myself writing more in my journal rather than here which is a supposed to be my safe or creative space — possibly due to the fear of people judging and finding out my struggles, insecurities and what not. it wasn’t until this quote (and a compilation of other thoughts) that made me sit down and do this on a Sunday night i lost myself trying to please everyone else now i’m losing everyone else to find myself did the quote surprise you too because of how accurate and deep meaning it carries? that’s what i felt from living a life trying to please everyone else and now losing them to find myself; what i stand for, what my beliefs are, what and who...

written on March 4, 2022 When you first said you prefer sunrise, i wasn’t convinced I mean, I even gave you ‘the look’  It’s not just me, everyone knows you didn’t look the part Then you said “it was because it’s the time you head home” That driving on the other side of the road The less crowded side was how you tell the time  6 am  While others prepare for a jog before work, prepping kids for school,  Invested in the essence of life, clocking in as much as they can  You watched it all unravel in slow-motion  From your rear view mirror  On the other side 6 am I was part of the crowd  The one chasing after time In before the sun rises, and out after the sun sets  When sleep felt like seconds, not hours  It started with ‘go with the flow’ I didn’t have cards handed out for me to choose I just went with what the card I was played Because I had no right to be picky  I simply did what I could to stay afloat  When you’ve got no pa...

written on February 1, 2022 of roads in life  some will get you straight to the point, a smooth sailing one some with potholes, where you think twice before running through it then there are a few with bumps, one or a row of it forcing you to slow down and have your foot off the accelerator  because running through it any faster will not only feel uncomfortable  but it’ll damage your car  immediately or cumulatively, i do not know the extent of the damage  but the moment you hit the brakes and as you watch the car move slowly  you look out and start to see how fast the cars around you go cutting in lanes to speed ahead going beyond the limits to get ahead in the game  on the roads they choose, with a destination in mind not caring if there’s any traffic ahead as if to say “just go”  until the red light tells you otherwise  in the world full of talented people you stop to wonder what’s yours it’s not that your car isn’t working  (thoug...

written on January 8, 2022 to a certain degree a space  somewhat huge or empty could feel  suffocating as if you’re confined  in a box, with a lid on top and sometimes  you could even feel the walls  closing in on you and the ray of light narrows thud and it all went silent  complete darkness  as if the oblivion has swallowed you whole – how you see yourself. because you can’t see the light in you, but others could. if only, you could see yourself the others did. it’s still you, in the same universe.

written on December 23, 2021 if all it is is eight letters, why is it so hard to say? because  it meant more than just liking someone  and you know how important it is for the other to hear it from you because  you know the weight of those words and you didn’t want them to lose its meaning over time  or perhaps it’s  because  you don’t know what it means beyond that line of liking someone  simply because you like them and enjoy spending time with them – those are reasons not good enough reason to convince those who want  more yet each time you hear it,  you can’t dismiss the pressure coming from their expectations, knowing that you need to say it back and they long to hear it  but not saying it back, doesn’t mean you don’t reciprocate the love you give or receive  (and sometimes people don’t see that)  people love in their own ways and they are hardly ever the same – it’s just the same as to how we process the world that we ...

written on December 12, 2021 love, an emotion  the perfect mix of chemical in our minds that got your heart racing  the moment a new face enters a coffee shop  or board your usual subway train on a particular day just when you least expect it  love, an emotion  something we feel but no eyes could see love, a feeling we could grasp and understand its meaning yet, you can’t hold it in your hands  love, sometimes lasts forever  “till death do us part” and sometimes long enough to teach us what we need to learn  it is something you can’t stop from fading away or leaving love, ones that lead to heartbreak or grief are the greatest teachers because it goes to show that love has no end  it transcends beyond time and distance even when one no longer exists on the face of the Earth love, there’s no way to measure the amount  yet, some question “how much do you love me?”  or “why did you fall in love with me?”  i don’t think we are se...