Five Lessons from Hi Bye Mama

Presenting the doodle I did and I actually like how it ended up  
 IG: thesaraajung 

Decided to put a little twist to my usual K-drama reviews and this time I will just focus on the lessons I've took away at the end of the 16 episodes. A little late to the hype on this drama because I wanted to take more time to edit them, to put more care into the words. Before we dive straight to the lessons, here's a synopsis along with my afterthoughts. 

The story revolves around Cha Yu-Ri (played by Kim Tae-Hee) who remained a ghost 5 years after her tragic death. Then one day in winter, she was given a project where she could have her second chance at life if she succeeds is returning to her place within 49 days. However, her husband is now remarried. 

Image credits to tvN.

Saraa's Afterthoughts

I haven't cried so bad while watching a K-drama in a long while. This is exactly what I would call a good drama where the storyline presented tugs at your heartstrings and makes you cry buckets of tears, impressive line of actors, supporting characters that carries the plot well and their own side of the story. This drama definitely covers all of it at just the right proportion as I find myself crying while watching almost all of the episodes myself. If anyone is ever in the mood to cry, this is your go-to drama. 

I particularly love how this drama is beautifully written even when the theme is rather sombre and grim, touching the difficult topics of death, grief, regrets, and its impact on their loved ones. It's sad and depressing but a few of the episodes are sure to keep you laughing and warm - just bittersweet. 

For I love the narrations in this drama so much, I'll use them to name the lessons. At this point, I can't remember if they are directly related to the episodes themselves or it is just my interpretation of it. 

Five Beautiful Lessons

"People Who Can't Say Goodbye"

Throughout the entire 16 episodes, this one quote was stuck on my mind being the important lessons. It was from the best-selling book called 'Tuesdays with Morrie' written by Mitch Albom ; 

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Morrie Schwartz 

It felt so appropriate because this drama portrays the aftermath of the death of Cha Yu-Ri and how it greatly impacted the lives of those who treasured her. On the surface, everyone may have moved on but they each are dealing with grief and loss differently. 

Her husband couldn't stop blaming himself for her death and since then, he (as a surgeon) couldn't enter the Operating Room without having a panic attack. Her mother kept her room just as she left it, even replenishing the clock's battery and changing the calendar. Her sister left only with Yu-Ri's clothes to comfort her. Her best friend still prepared her favourite fried food and beer on her birthday every year, to make sure that she's not lonely. 

"Perhaps the most beautiful thing we can feel in our lives is telling someone we love that we love them, and thanking someone whom we’re grateful for."

The perspective of Yu-Ri's life as a ghost puts an emphasis on the importance to share our love and gratitude to those around us. The sad flashbacks when her mother came into the room and cried, I'm sure Yu-Ri wished so hard that she could touch or talk to them, to comfort them. It says a lot about Yu-Ri's character when she took time to give back what she wasn't able to for the past 4 years - even when she can't see them in a way she would have liked to. She too has learnt that these things can easily be taken away. 

The Share of Life Given To Me

There was a scene that Yu-Ri offers to grant Gang-Hwa a wish before their baby arrives and his wish was simply to have Yu-Ri pick him up at the bus station whenever it rains. This was something he always wanted because this was something his mother didn't do when he was a child. But each time it rains, Yu-Ri feels tired to pick him up. In this flashback, Yu-Ri's narration of her regret goes like this; 

“If I had known that the next day wouldn’t arrive ever again, I wouldn’t have let each precious day just pass by idly.” 

Watching this scene was as if a reminder to tell us to live each day to the fullest, because tomorrow is never guaranteed. Yet given the chance to know when you will die, would you take it? Ironically, no because there's no longer a point in living when you're just counting days to your death - isn't it? 

Meanwhile Gang-Hwa's narration at the end of the episode goes like this

“If I had known the time given to us was this short, I would have treasured every insignificant moment. But life left some more time for me.”

Image credits to tvN.

Even in the face of death, there’s something that keeps you from thinking of yourself. It’s family.

As explained with the quote, the only reason Yu-Ri took on the 49 days project is so that she could look after Seo-Woo, to keep her away from another encounter with a ghost. It was her highest priority to find a way to stop Seo Woo from seeing ghosts. Throughout the 49 days, she did nothing but to protect those she loves, even if it means staying away from them and her husband who has remarried. 

Even after she reunited with her family, she started to care for them more - to buying her sister dresses rather than breaking into fights over clothes, to spending more time with her mother, and most importantly to let Seo-Woo spend more time with the grandparents (Yu-Ri's side). The concept of love in K-dramas are always so subtle just like the Asian families with public affections. 

In times when you search for a reason to live, do it for your family because you have no idea what kind of pain they would have to go through when you're gone. Like Hye-Jin who committed suicide, she wished that she realized it sooner that there's more to life than just her dreams such as friends and family. She could have just quit and find another job. "Having regrets is what makes us humans" 

Spend more time with your family, especially your parents (seems appropriate since we are all stuck at home together) and get to know their story as a person. You don't want to miss this when they are gone - go on. 

Image credits to tvN.

"Goodbye and Hello to Your Light"

The light here started off as Yu-Ri being the person who could cheer Gang-Hwa up whenever he has a bad day, so that he wouldn't wander in the darkness for too long. With Yu-Ri then gone, you no longer see the light bulb until the day that Min-Jung kept him company as she enjoyed her two servings of noodles at the pojangmacha. 

The light returns returned in the present day where you see Seo-Woo happily holds on to both Yu-Ri and Min-Jung's hands as the three of them walked home (see the image). In this drama, Min-Jung shed so much light (pun intended) on the fact that not all stepmothers are evil - from all the 'happily ever after' fairytales. 

The fact that she tried her best to be a mom for Seo-Woo even when she's not her own is already something to applaud for, yet she knew that she can never replace Yu-Ri even with her efforts. While both Yu-Ri and Min-Jung struggle to fill in the shoes of a mother, I wished that they realize that they are already good enough for Seo-Woo - who clearly loves both of them. 

There are no words that could describe a mother's sacrifice, even stepmothers who didn't deserve the hate and evil because of the 'happily ever after' fairy tales. I guess we have all been blinded by the happily-ever-after stories where the stepmother is always the evil one. 

Image credits to tvN.

"A Story I Cannot See"

The beautiful ending where Mr Kim walked her daughter on the aisle. It is true when the bride walks down the aisle without a father by her side, it does seem a little lonely. However in Yu-Ri's eyes, the reunion is beautiful because she saw the ghost of the father accompanied her. The beautiful note written by Yu-Ri to convey her father's last words on the day of Ms. Kim's was so touching (yep, a bucket here) - of his apology for being a poor dad to his brightest jewel and of his hopes that she will remember his father as a strong person rather than someone to pity. 

Image credits to tvN.

Just because you don't see it, it doesn't mean that it's not there. - me?

Sometimes it is comforting to know that those who are gone, that they are still with us - like how Yu-Ri is always there every day with her loved ones, even when they can no longer see her. With this 49 days project, it is as though Yu-Ri was given a chance to say her proper goodbye especially for Gang-Hwa who needed the closure to stop blaming himself for her death. The indescribable impact of the scene where Yu-Ri could finally comfort Gang-Hwa during his panic attacks (after not being able to when she was a ghost) was so well done that I can still remember it vividly. 

This also relates to the Mi Dong-Taek, the shaman with a special talent to see ghosts and her kind character that didn't not rush the ghosts just to meet the target. That one scene when his son came by the temple was really upsetting. Just because their career is different from the norm, it doesn't grant you the permission to humiliate them especially not his own mother. Hoax or not, there's nothing wrong with doing what you need to put a bowl of rice on the table at the end of every day. 

As usual, I'm wrapping up the post with my favourite from this drama. 

Do you know what's more desperate than to say 'I want to die'?

'I want to live.'

Love, Sara

Time just flies so fast whenever I'm writing or editing and this post ended up being longer than I expected.