I M S O R R Y
Looking back, I just realized that its been a MONTH since i last posted anything.
Sorry. Joesonghabnida. (It means I'm sorry in Korean)
Well then, hello March.
Today's post is dedicated to all my friends and family. Especially my family.
Dear friends,
Regardless whether you are reading this or not, I'd like to tell you that I love you guys for always being here for me. Eventhough you guys arent there most of the time, but this time around I feel that I am not alone in this battle. Good news is that I survived the battle. I am just not satisfied with what I've got. They always say as long you give your best and thats what matters. This time, it didnt work out really well for me.
I feel like a disappointment. to me and my family as well
Its not the pressure of being the eldest. Its just I have always made them proud of me but this time i'm the one crying instead of them and its not the tears of joy. When i got my result I was fine, still talking around while putting on a mask for everyone to see. However, as soon as I reached home, I stormed into my room and the tears starts pouring like rain on my face. I just cant help but to cry cos I feel like I've disappointed them. With my grades I admit its not something that I am utterly proud of but whats done is done right?
Let bygones be bygones they say.
In the end I cried myself to sleep. When i wake, I had tones of texts and missed calls from my relatives and friends. I ignored the others and called my grandmother. This time around, she is still the first person I called. I want to hear her congratulate me for my success. I just want to make her proud. Like I always do. It really lifts up my mood whenever I think that she would be happy and all. Sadly this time she is the one who does all the comforting. Obviously I cried. AGAIN. So i told her how it was and she kept saying its okay.
"You've tried your best and thats all that matters"
At that time I really feel horrible. Like I shouldnt be doing this to her. And I blamed myself for all this. Another person that I dont want to disappoint is my grandpa. Ever since he left, I swear to myself that I will study hard and work hard just to make him proud. Again i didnt.
Imagine you're in my shoes.
Dont you feel like such a failure?
To those who comforted me today, Thank You but I still have to blame myself for this. And I will carry this burden to my grave. Dont try to sympathize me or think that I am pitiful. Cos this is my fault and I aint blaming anybody but myself.
I just want to write out all the feelings and just express how I feel today and yeah
Despite all these, I am really utterly grateful for all those people who cares about me.
Those who liked and commented on my FB post.
Those who wished me luck for my results.
Whether you are near or far
THANK YOU.
All those comforting words are really nice of you guys to do that.
I really appreciate it.
AGAIN I'm sorry if I have let you guys down about this.
I'm sorry I couldnt live up to your expectations this time.
I know, I could have done better
I would love to go to the past and redo it again if I could.
Trust me, I would do ANYTHING to head back.
To get back all the good times that I had.
With the people I love and I cherished.
No matter what I will have to grow up.
Stand up and move on.
Let this be my lesson
To remind me to
Never let my guard down again
They say people make mistakes all the time
I would say these mistakes are the ones that make us who we are today
Changed us to who we are.
Today.
So
From today onwards,
I will work hard in whatever I do
Everything that I do.
To be grateful for each day that I have
With people I love most
To make time for them
To make them proud of me
In a way
This will make me happy
As for me
When everyone else is happy,
I dont mind bearing all the
Pain and hardships and obstacles
That I have to go through
Alright,
Thats probably it.
Wouldn't want you guys to be bored of it anyway :)
Leave a comment if you like :D
Let's hope that tomorrow will be a better day :)
xx
Sara
P.S : my eyes hurts ;(
Sorry. Joesonghabnida. (It means I'm sorry in Korean)
Well then, hello March.
Today's post is dedicated to all my friends and family. Especially my family.
Dear friends,
Regardless whether you are reading this or not, I'd like to tell you that I love you guys for always being here for me. Eventhough you guys arent there most of the time, but this time around I feel that I am not alone in this battle. Good news is that I survived the battle. I am just not satisfied with what I've got. They always say as long you give your best and thats what matters. This time, it didnt work out really well for me.
I feel like a disappointment. to me and my family as well
Its not the pressure of being the eldest. Its just I have always made them proud of me but this time i'm the one crying instead of them and its not the tears of joy. When i got my result I was fine, still talking around while putting on a mask for everyone to see. However, as soon as I reached home, I stormed into my room and the tears starts pouring like rain on my face. I just cant help but to cry cos I feel like I've disappointed them. With my grades I admit its not something that I am utterly proud of but whats done is done right?
Let bygones be bygones they say.
In the end I cried myself to sleep. When i wake, I had tones of texts and missed calls from my relatives and friends. I ignored the others and called my grandmother. This time around, she is still the first person I called. I want to hear her congratulate me for my success. I just want to make her proud. Like I always do. It really lifts up my mood whenever I think that she would be happy and all. Sadly this time she is the one who does all the comforting. Obviously I cried. AGAIN. So i told her how it was and she kept saying its okay.
"You've tried your best and thats all that matters"
At that time I really feel horrible. Like I shouldnt be doing this to her. And I blamed myself for all this. Another person that I dont want to disappoint is my grandpa. Ever since he left, I swear to myself that I will study hard and work hard just to make him proud. Again i didnt.
Imagine you're in my shoes.
Dont you feel like such a failure?
To those who comforted me today, Thank You but I still have to blame myself for this. And I will carry this burden to my grave. Dont try to sympathize me or think that I am pitiful. Cos this is my fault and I aint blaming anybody but myself.
I just want to write out all the feelings and just express how I feel today and yeah
Despite all these, I am really utterly grateful for all those people who cares about me.
Those who liked and commented on my FB post.
Those who wished me luck for my results.
Whether you are near or far
THANK YOU.
All those comforting words are really nice of you guys to do that.
I really appreciate it.
AGAIN I'm sorry if I have let you guys down about this.
I'm sorry I couldnt live up to your expectations this time.
I know, I could have done better
I would love to go to the past and redo it again if I could.
Trust me, I would do ANYTHING to head back.
To get back all the good times that I had.
With the people I love and I cherished.
No matter what I will have to grow up.
Stand up and move on.
Let this be my lesson
To remind me to
Never let my guard down again
They say people make mistakes all the time
I would say these mistakes are the ones that make us who we are today
Changed us to who we are.
Today.
So
From today onwards,
I will work hard in whatever I do
Everything that I do.
To be grateful for each day that I have
With people I love most
To make time for them
To make them proud of me
In a way
This will make me happy
As for me
When everyone else is happy,
I dont mind bearing all the
Pain and hardships and obstacles
That I have to go through
Alright,
Thats probably it.
Wouldn't want you guys to be bored of it anyway :)
Leave a comment if you like :D
xx
Sara
P.S : my eyes hurts ;(
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